Update on adoption

During these last 6 months, that I have enjoyed sharing on the blog about what we are seeing, tasting and overall experiencing while we wait. I am having fun telling you all about it and appreciate you hanging in there with us.


All adoptions are wrought with periods of waiting. They wait for us to get our paperwork done and submitted. We wait for them to process our information so they can give us an appointment date. They wait for us to get here to Ukraine. We show up to the appointment, they make us wait in the lobby (in Ukraine, lobbies are usually a stairwell, no seating provided!). We make decisions at the appointment, they make us wait to get the paperwork......and on, and on, and on it goes. Waiting is as much a vital part of adoptions as the child is!


You have hung in there and waited with us. We thank you. We thank you for your words of encouragement and support - it helps us through our many "waiting" periods in this process.


Some of the waiting for us is coming to a close. Some of the unknowns are finally becoming clear and we are able to share what we've had to keep quiet until things were settled. I am glad to finally get you up to date.


When we arrived at our Invitational appointment, they told us that we would have to choose which girl we wanted to get acquainted with first - Ola (15 yrs old) or Vala (14 years old). We were not going to get permission to see both at the same time, like we hoped.


The interviewers decided to call the orphanage to get more information about both girls so we could better make our choice. The information at SDA was limited to factuals like medical, when the files were submitted, age, DOB, etc. If they had asked us right then, we would have chosen the oldest first (Ola) since she is under a deadline of time.


When our interviewer was on the phone, many emotions went across Sergiy's face. He was hearing one side of a conversation and it seems to alarm him. We patiently waited for the conversation that occurred after the phone was hung up. Sergiy then translated for us and we were finally filled in.


Sergiy said Ola is being adopted by someone else. Actually she will be living with the family under a "Guardian" program. All of us were very surprised. Sergiy was speechless and wondered out loud in English, why he had not been told. Then he recalled that Ukrainian adoptions are private, International ones are not. In essence, they had been told about us and our intent to adopt, but we could not be told about them until that very minute.


We wondered if the information was correct? But even John and I could tell the interviewer said the Director's name and was talking to her in person. But could it really be true? After all this time, will Ola possibly not come home with us? We were dumbfounded, speechless and the wind had been let out of our sails. It took out the joy of getting the Referral to see Vala. It felt like we had just lost a child. We were all hopeful that when we got to the orphanage that things might be different - that there might have been a misunderstanding.


We traveled on the overnight train to the orphanage. By the time we arrived, John and I were anxious and excited about meeting Vala for the first time. Ola and the situation that surrounded her had now been pushed to the back of our minds, but we still wondered if we would see her.


I have told you all about Vala's meeting with us. It was truly wonderful. We were able to spend around 6 hours that day at the orphanage with Vala. By the time we left, Vala was snuggling close to me on the couch while we looked at photos we had brought. She brought out the orphanage photos that had pictures of her and her friends there. She is a cuddly sweet thing! Every moment we spent together, the more relaxed and comfortable we became. John and I couldn't be happier.


But back to Ola.... we were able to see her and even speak to her. There was a "movie" of sorts taken of the orphanage about a year ago. They interviewed the children in hopes to stir up attention for the plight of the orphan in Ukraine. This has paid off for Ola. The family she now calls Momma and Papa are in the legal professions and do very well. Ola now has two older sisters, one we met our first day there. The mother and sister had come to pick up Ola for the school holiday (2 weeks off). They were very kind and the affection they felt for her already was evident.


John and I had come to a new position regarding Ola. We praised God that He had done this for Ola. To be taken in at such a late age could only be from Him. Ukrainians do not adopt older children - it is against their culture. There are some who are trying to combat this perception (like doing the "movie" of the orphanage), but they are getting very little success. Ukrainians fight very hard to eek out a living. There is a definite division between the rich and the rest of Ukraine. Orphans are considered the lowest class in this society.


Ola will be raised in the only gated community outside of Kiev, the capitol. They will make sure she gets all entitlements the government allows orphans. She will be well cared for and loved. They said they wanted to send her to law school, as they had been, but she only wants to cut hair. They said they'd buy her a shop and she could cut hair instead. For an orphan, she couldn't have asked for a better life.


So where does this leave John and I? We have approval to bring two girls between the ages of 9-16 years old home with us as our daughters. We happily have chosen one girl, and she chooses us too. We have one spot open. What do we do? What would God have us do? Did He open our hearts to take two daughters in, just to bring only one home with us? Does He have another here that He really intends instead? On day one at the orphanage, we just do not have any answers to these questions that are ping-ponging through our heads. We go to bed that night, thankful for Vala and wondering about another.