Saturday, October 31, 2009

One More Post

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUE!!!!

You are a great friend and I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes!! Thank you so much for giving up your time with your family on your birthday (and every other day we're gone to Ukraine) to watch our daughters!!! You are truly a gem to us!

Thank you just isn't enough!

We love you!

2nd child

Hello to you all,


We are often having difficulties finding reliable internet and the last two days have not been any different. We are glad to be back on-line to talk with you all again.


So I left off discussing our torn dilemma on whether to just continue with Vala's adoption or to see if there was another child God intended on us bringing home. This is a continuing of those thoughts.....


The day after we met Vala, we were once again running around with Sergiy, getting documents completed for submission. Just about as many documents are needed here in Ukraine as John and I had to prepare just to come over. And with Ukraine, there needs to be many, many approval stamps and signatures on each page. They are quite a sight when they are done! How can they read them anyway??? They look very "official".


When we are not needed by Sergiy, we spend the days at the orphanage where we can get to know Vala and the other children, but still be close by for when Sergiy needs us. We've been having a great time!


You all know how much we love kids. It doesn't matter that we don't speak the language, we're finding ways to communicate and have fun anyway. We've played many games of Uno and even Twister (once, yes, even us old folks played!)


There is one young man, aged 14, who speaks very good English. We use him as our interpreter (and so does everyone else when Sergiy is not around). We'll call him "Junior" since he's our other interpreter and we shouldn't use his real name. He is funny and quite a card player! He's unadoptable at this time or else Jenn would be getting our 2nd child changed to a boy! I've thought of sticking him in my suitcase and bringing him home. He's a riot and a sweet kid. He needs a Dad. Him and John already have a special handshake.


Several of these older children, like Junior, I recognize from Mark & Sally's photos and the stories their adopted daughters have told about their friends. As they walk around, I lean over to John and say, "Hey! There's so-and-so! She....." It's really neat, but also sad many of them are still here. There are a couple of girls who might fit our criteria, but we just don't know.


It took about a week to get Vala's paperwork done. Then we headed back up to Kiev to submit it to get the final Adoption Agreement. In short, this says all interested parties agree we should and could adopt Vala. Our next step will be getting a court appointment.


We were hopeful our submission for a second Invitation and Referral will allow us to have an appointment within the same time frame of Vala's paperwork. Since the SDA knew we were eventually coming back up for the 2nd Invitation, things went much faster. Their newest law says we can only do a second adoption, at the same time like we were, if it was from the same orphanage. We found out, unfortunately, none of the children were adoptable by us at this time. Either there was complications with the child's paperwork, they had a sibling, etc. We could only bring one more child home. (John and I were hoping to bend the rule and bring home about 5 or 6 more!) It was a depressing day.


The next day we were expecting to get the Adoption Agreement for Vala, but in light of not being able to help another child, it was hard to be really happy. There was one girl we have spent much time with and we were all hoping it would work out. Now, we head back down to the orphanage and will have to face this young lady with sad news. This last Thursday we were again on the overnight train, sweating to death. The next morning we hit the ground running again as we are push, push, pushing to get done as soon as we can.


I have a headache the day we arrive and feel nauseous all day. It's a common thing for John and I. We are having a hard time adjusting to the food, the polluted air, inadequate sleep, etc. We miss home, our beds, food and clean air. What a blessed life we live!


Although I can only be vague in many aspects of our travels and experiences, I will be on again tomorrow to bring you finally up to date with our adoption journey.


Until then, many blessings to you and your family.
We will pray for good health for you, please remember us in your prayers as well.
Much love to you all. We miss you and your friendship.
Jenn

P.S. Here is a picture of a high point, overlooking just a part of the city of Kiev. It has somewhere around 5-7 million people in it. We know we will not get the chance to see it all. It is an amazing old city with very tall buildings. Not what we're used to back home, that's for sure!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Update on adoption

During these last 6 months, that I have enjoyed sharing on the blog about what we are seeing, tasting and overall experiencing while we wait. I am having fun telling you all about it and appreciate you hanging in there with us.


All adoptions are wrought with periods of waiting. They wait for us to get our paperwork done and submitted. We wait for them to process our information so they can give us an appointment date. They wait for us to get here to Ukraine. We show up to the appointment, they make us wait in the lobby (in Ukraine, lobbies are usually a stairwell, no seating provided!). We make decisions at the appointment, they make us wait to get the paperwork......and on, and on, and on it goes. Waiting is as much a vital part of adoptions as the child is!


You have hung in there and waited with us. We thank you. We thank you for your words of encouragement and support - it helps us through our many "waiting" periods in this process.


Some of the waiting for us is coming to a close. Some of the unknowns are finally becoming clear and we are able to share what we've had to keep quiet until things were settled. I am glad to finally get you up to date.


When we arrived at our Invitational appointment, they told us that we would have to choose which girl we wanted to get acquainted with first - Ola (15 yrs old) or Vala (14 years old). We were not going to get permission to see both at the same time, like we hoped.


The interviewers decided to call the orphanage to get more information about both girls so we could better make our choice. The information at SDA was limited to factuals like medical, when the files were submitted, age, DOB, etc. If they had asked us right then, we would have chosen the oldest first (Ola) since she is under a deadline of time.


When our interviewer was on the phone, many emotions went across Sergiy's face. He was hearing one side of a conversation and it seems to alarm him. We patiently waited for the conversation that occurred after the phone was hung up. Sergiy then translated for us and we were finally filled in.


Sergiy said Ola is being adopted by someone else. Actually she will be living with the family under a "Guardian" program. All of us were very surprised. Sergiy was speechless and wondered out loud in English, why he had not been told. Then he recalled that Ukrainian adoptions are private, International ones are not. In essence, they had been told about us and our intent to adopt, but we could not be told about them until that very minute.


We wondered if the information was correct? But even John and I could tell the interviewer said the Director's name and was talking to her in person. But could it really be true? After all this time, will Ola possibly not come home with us? We were dumbfounded, speechless and the wind had been let out of our sails. It took out the joy of getting the Referral to see Vala. It felt like we had just lost a child. We were all hopeful that when we got to the orphanage that things might be different - that there might have been a misunderstanding.


We traveled on the overnight train to the orphanage. By the time we arrived, John and I were anxious and excited about meeting Vala for the first time. Ola and the situation that surrounded her had now been pushed to the back of our minds, but we still wondered if we would see her.


I have told you all about Vala's meeting with us. It was truly wonderful. We were able to spend around 6 hours that day at the orphanage with Vala. By the time we left, Vala was snuggling close to me on the couch while we looked at photos we had brought. She brought out the orphanage photos that had pictures of her and her friends there. She is a cuddly sweet thing! Every moment we spent together, the more relaxed and comfortable we became. John and I couldn't be happier.


But back to Ola.... we were able to see her and even speak to her. There was a "movie" of sorts taken of the orphanage about a year ago. They interviewed the children in hopes to stir up attention for the plight of the orphan in Ukraine. This has paid off for Ola. The family she now calls Momma and Papa are in the legal professions and do very well. Ola now has two older sisters, one we met our first day there. The mother and sister had come to pick up Ola for the school holiday (2 weeks off). They were very kind and the affection they felt for her already was evident.


John and I had come to a new position regarding Ola. We praised God that He had done this for Ola. To be taken in at such a late age could only be from Him. Ukrainians do not adopt older children - it is against their culture. There are some who are trying to combat this perception (like doing the "movie" of the orphanage), but they are getting very little success. Ukrainians fight very hard to eek out a living. There is a definite division between the rich and the rest of Ukraine. Orphans are considered the lowest class in this society.


Ola will be raised in the only gated community outside of Kiev, the capitol. They will make sure she gets all entitlements the government allows orphans. She will be well cared for and loved. They said they wanted to send her to law school, as they had been, but she only wants to cut hair. They said they'd buy her a shop and she could cut hair instead. For an orphan, she couldn't have asked for a better life.


So where does this leave John and I? We have approval to bring two girls between the ages of 9-16 years old home with us as our daughters. We happily have chosen one girl, and she chooses us too. We have one spot open. What do we do? What would God have us do? Did He open our hearts to take two daughters in, just to bring only one home with us? Does He have another here that He really intends instead? On day one at the orphanage, we just do not have any answers to these questions that are ping-ponging through our heads. We go to bed that night, thankful for Vala and wondering about another.

Ukrainain Bronco

Hi Guys! I know how much you like my 1992 Ford Bronco........

Well. There are very few 4 x 4's here in Ukraine. They have a token Hummer here and there, but most cars are very small to a standard sized car.


Some are 4 x 4's but most are not. The average 4 x 4 would be similar to a Subaru Outback..... until we came along this beauty parked right out front our apartment complex! It's got a cargo rack for storing your spare tire and high lift jack, just in case you get stuck. And it was in nice shape. I've not seen another like it.


Thought you'd enjoy seeing it!
I made John stand in the photo so you could compare it's awesome size!
Lots of laughter, Jenn











Ukrainian History & dinner

Dear friends and family,

Today John and I wait for an expected appointment we will have this afternoon sometime. We have enjoyed receiving encouraging e-mails from some of you and certainly felt the power of your prayers extended our way over the last 24 hours. Yesterday was a very difficult day for both of us. Several times we had breakdowns, not exactly of despair, but of exhaustion and frustration. There is much we are dealing with that we can not disclose in this format right now. Soon we will have conclusions to questions and decisions and will be able to share more with you. Please know that when we asked that you join us in prayer, we know and see God's answers all around us. His will has been made evident and we are so thankful for His presence and guidance.

To pass some time, I have gone back to the blog I have attached to ours - "Step of Faith: Ukraine Adoption." This is some very good reading and we have enjoyed sharing this trip with them. The husband is a Pastor and the wife is a Teacher. She spent some of their "down time" writing about Ukraine's history and I highly recommend you reading it. Her two blog entries can be found in June called 1) Ukrainian History and 2) More Ukrainian History. She is very thorough and does such a good job, I wouldn't think of trying to put it any differently. It is some very insightful reading into understanding our new daughters and their history. It is important to understand their background and the kind of people they were made of. Thanks so much Dawn for sharing with us!

Last night we had dinner with Sergiy. It gave us a chance to sit down and discuss our options, the game plan before and after today's meeting, and above all, we splurged by eating American hamburgers! Yum! In the capitol of Kiev there is an American TGIFridays. It is just like the ones back in the States (including the high prices). John and I were longing for a juicy hamburger and fries. We eat at McDonanlds from time to time, but it's just not the same. Sergiy's wife and children were left back in Donetsk with his in-laws, so he welcomed the opportunity to share a meal with someone.

As we went to order, we found out Sergiy had never had an American style hamburger. He is willing to try new things, but had not ventured farther than the "chicken fingers" he had eaten once before. We ordered a big juicy bacon cheeseburger for each of us, along with a sample appetizer tray to share. We washed it down with Cokes, no ice (still made from the local water supply). It wasn't quite the same without the ice, but still so refreshing. Ukrainians drink juice or carbonated water (called water with gas) instead of sodas.

Sergiy tried all the items on the sampler, we explained each one. Potato skins, mozzarella sticks, wings and celery. He had never had any of them. It was very funny to watch him bite into the celery stalk and see how he was unsure how to bite the "strings" of celery politely off. He smiled and said he thinks he likes the mozzarella sticks instead. :o)

The burgers were huge with lettuce (something they rarely eat here), tomato and onion slices, pickles and of course the big juicy hamburger, bacon (slightly undercooked, yuk!) and processed cheese. We told him when they are this big (the buns here are larger and puffed up), it's best to cut it in half, smoosh it down and just take a bite. He loved it! He was so full by the end of the meal, but wanted so much to finish his entire burger and fries. I'm sure he must have had a bellyache before he got home! It was an expensive treat, but such a nice break from Ukrainian food.

I should be getting ready for our meeting. We have no idea what time it will be, but we could be called any time to walk down to the SDA offices. Thank you again for all who have been in contact. Jeremy W. - it was fun to talk to you. Thanks for downloading Skype. It's a very easy way for us to "talk".

Until next time, be encouraged, He is in control.
Jenn

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Ukrainian driving

John and I put many, many miles on our vehicles each year. Both of us drive and because we have our own business, we have vehicles we drive for work and ones we have to drive personally. Each year we put 30,000 miles on our vehicles - each! Because our older teenage children drive their own vehicles as well (partially to save us from driving back and forth to the school and their other functions), we could quite easily chalk up another 10,000 miles or more in driving miles for our family.

While being here in Ukraine (we are on day 14), John and I have not been allowed to drive. This is a very different experience for both of us. We are used to being in control of our days and being in the hands of other people is challenging at times. Especially the way they drive here!

We are not world travellers. This is our first time being off the North American continent. So although I have heard stories about driving on the Audubon and seen movies with high speed chases in Paris and the like, I have yet to have lived them until now.

Most who know me (okay kids, you can tell all), know driving fast does not bother me. Honestly, I like it. I grew up under the wing of my father, who being a Marine, calculated every move and strategically swerved in and out of traffic in the Portland area where I grew up. At the end of the day, he was one that was not tired from the experience, but invigorated and quite satisfied at the challenges. I tend to be like him.

But this driving is completely out of my realm. Straight from the airport in Kiev, I was aghast at the way drivers stack up three or four across in a two lane road. They cut each other out and are constantly swerving back and forth, narrowly missing each other! Even my thrill seeking side was a little more than frightened!

And when someone didn't want to wait 7 cars back from the light, they will drive into oncoming traffic (2 or 3 lanes coming right at them), dodging the cars and buses and turn right through the busy intersection ahead that has right-away! It is incredible to see!

And one amazing, incredible lesson that Americans could learn is that no one gets mad! There is no "road rage" here. I asked our driver about it, politely translated by Sergiy, if anyone gets mad and yells at them? He was confused by the question and said, "No. I guess they need to get somewhere worse than I do." They assume the best instead of the worst! They do not get uptight and feel they've been cut off, or that the other driver hasn't waited their turn like we did. They just assume that they needed to get ahead for a reason. We ourselves have done lots of passing into oncoming traffic, around buses, cars, electric run Metros, pedestrians (who cross anytime and anywhere). Because of this phenomenon, they, like my father, are not stressed at the end of the day. It's just life to them.

We pray as you "drive" through life today, dodging life's roadblocks, obstacles and unexpected "pedestrians" that you remember to remain calm and relaxed. God is in control of today. He does not want one of us to suffer needlessly. He sees what's happening in your life and mine. He is compassionate and (Praise God) slow to anger when we do wrong. Keep it in gear, keep your focus on the road ahead (full of God), sit back and enjoy the ride.

Much love to you all.
God bless you dear friends and family!
Jenn

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Food and Language

Good Afternoon dear friends and family!

As we sit down with a cup of tea, we are thinking of the dietary changes our bodies have endured over the past 11 days. Only a couple of times have I ever gotten John to drink tea - he's a coffee man. But in a world without drip coffee, his choices are very few.

Most of this side of the world enjoys the extra heavy cappuccino and latte drinks. For us to order a "cappuccino americano" means it's only a 6 shot drink instead of the normal 10. You would think this high dose of caffeine would keep us up and keep us regular, but that would not be the case. So much has changed for our poor bodies (the time, the climate, the diet) that we have struggled to adjust.

Not to mention, there are no beds like ours in the entire country, we're pretty sure. Imagine sleeping on the box spring and you've got a Ukrainian bed. Okay, you can add a woolen blanket as some of them do for padding - now you've got a deluxe Ukrainian bed. Sometimes we can't help but whine a little. We are thankful Ibuprofen is pronounced the same in Russian as in English. :o)

Here is a snapshot of our breakfast the day before we left for Kiev. We are blessed to have insight on which restaurants have English menus. This one, called Cherry Pizza, is one of them. In fact I've blogged to you all from there as they have WIFI and are open 24/7 as well.

John ordered the Salt Pancakes.














These are a blintz pancake with a side of sour cream. This is a typical pancake that can either be served as a "salt" or "sweet" dish. A salt pancake has cheese, meat, vegetables, sour cream, etc. A sweet pancake usually has fruit, chocolate syrup, nuts, honey or the like.


I ordered one called something like Sweet Toast.













It ended up being a french bread prepared like french toast, but with chopped almonds on both sides and drizzled carmel sauce on top. It was almost too sweet for breakfast, but we endured through it! :o)


At some restaurants we are able to point and make hand motions. John is very well versed in this kind of communication. It seems many of the guys he works with talk a lot with their hands, make noises, facial expressions to communicate. It's kind of like primitive talking. Needless to say, I have him order for us. It usually works pretty well when they do not speak English. Hunger is a great motivating factor.

In fact, John has been trying to learn Russian while he's here to communicate with everyone. He has a English to Russian translation book that he started studying before we left the States. But the funny thing is that after 11 days, I think he knows 2 words. In reality, since they don't know much English, he's actually responding to them in Spanish, the only other language he does know. He'll say, "Buenos dais" and the like. Now our attorney/interpreter is speaking Spanish to John instead of English! Actually Sergiy doesn't know Spanish - what he's speaking now is what John's taught him! I believe we're in trouble.

We have struggled constantly with internet services. There is so much to tell and I am trying diligently to get on-line to communicate, but we are constantly be kicked off or can not get on at all. John's Netbook will only get on-line at certain places that have WIFI, like McDonalds. Mine (thankfully) will usually get on anywhere, including with the high speed cable hookup we have in the apartment. But all of this is very unstable. Sergiy says this is how it is in all Ukraine. And it doesn't bother them. They expect no different - it's the kind of services they are use to.

As I attempt to post another blog (such as this one) it "auto saves" while I'm typing - which is great! But because of the unstable internet, it is sometimes days old before I get the chance to finish it and send it on to you. I feel so behind! but I know you don't mind. Thanks for hanging in there with me. I wish you a wonderful day filled with good food and lots of rest.

Until next time, all our love to you and yours,
Jenn

Friday, October 23, 2009

Can you find John?

Here is something fun.....

This is a normal stairway to an apartment we stayed in. This is actually for the "white apartment" where there is no other choice but the stairs. Ukrainians do not replace the lightbulbs in the halls or outside of a door when it burns out. Occasionally you'll find a very small bulb that brings about the same light as the cell phone.

Can you find John on the stairs? No joke - this is what it looks like!











I blinded him by turning on the flash so you could actually see him (and so could I!). It is still light outside, by the way. Because all the buildings are made of very thick, solid concrete or brick, light only gets in through the occasional dirty windows that are placed on some floors.









The spot behind him is the front door and there is no side window and no lightbulb. You can see what we walk down to to try and head out of the building. On this one, the outside light is broken out too. But have no fear, this is a nice neighborhood. We understand the governor of the area has his office in one of the first floor spaces in this building. There is a police presence everywhere.

Thanking God for every lightbulb in Ukraine! - Jenn

Playgrounds and Hairdos

On Thurday, we had the opportunity to hang out once again with many children at the orphanage. When we come to visit, it's not only to see Vala, but everyone else as well.

John and I were challenged to a game of football (soccer) on their small playing field. My teammate and I were at a serious disadvantage. First, John played soccer as a kid and Vala, his teammate, is obviously very experienced and shows no mercy. Second, I've not played at all except maybe in P.E. in Elementary, and my teammate, who is much less competative, was wearing 3 inch high heels! Thankfully we were saved from major embarrasement when two young men (probably 8 years old) came in on the game and helped us out! Thanks guys!

Here is a photo of John and some of the kids looking at photo albums outside. It was a beautiful day! NOTICE John's Russian to English dictionary sticking out of his back pocket??!!??









The children have chores everyday to teach them the ethics of hard work. Here are two youngsters raking up leaves. Everyone uses the old style twig hand-made brooms. They are very effective!










While we were resting on the benches, watching the boys play soccer, one of the older gals got a hold of my hair and french braided it - pretty nice, huh! She did a really good job!









Hope you enjoy following along as much as I enjoy writing it! Jenn

Thur. Oct. 22nd

Thursday, for Sergiy, was spent running again (like always) on our behalf collecting official documents for the adoption. He was hoping paperwork necessary for the Mayor's signature would be ready so he could take it to their office and keep the whole process moving as quickly as possible. Sergiy is a very motivated man and a "multi-tasker" - a man after my own heart!

News travels very quickly. When we were dropped off at the orphanage, Vala made it out the front door before we even walked up the steps. She greeted us with a smile and warm hugs. Her genuine happiness that we were there was apparent. I have seen no "acts" with this young gal - I believe what you see is what you get. If she is not happy about something, she generally keeps her mouth shut, but you see her mood in the expressions on her face. A poker face, she does not have. Still I have not seen her cross with other children, or even bossy. As one of the oldest children, she does instruct them and direct them from time to time, but never in a way that they seem to mind.

We spent part of the morning playing Uno. This is a wonderful way to pass the time and spend together. Many of the children come in and out of the game. They are all fun-loving children and love to giggle and laugh with their friends. It is a wonderful opportunity for us to teach, or rather remind them, to speak English. John and I were constantly saying "blue" or "nine" and the children would copy us. We also spent the game speaking English the entire time. Most of the children, even if they couldn't respond in English, knew pretty much what we were saying.

We were greatly encouraged. And they are so much fun to play with. Before the end of the game, we all knew each other's cards. It wasn't that they were "cheating" but that they were having too much fun. As they giggled and carried on, they would lean over and check out the person's cards next to them. They wanted to make sure the card they were to play wouldn't harm the child next to them when they played (i.e. put down a reverse and the child wouldn't be able to play a card). To them, it didn't matter who won or lost, it was just being together. It was very refreshing. This is a family.

Sergiy broke into the fun we had outside on the play yard later in the afternoon. He had good news - all the documents had been received, we are to dash to the train station to try and get tickets to Kiev tonight. We told the children goodbye and that we'd see them next week. It was hard to leave Vala behind.

With some finagling we were able to obtain a 2nd class sleeper car for John, Sergiy and myself. We packed much lighter, leaving behind our bags in a secure area. We are grateful we packed our suitcases before going to the orphanage in anticipation this might happen.

By the time we were dropped off at the apartment to finish getting our bags together, we were both starving. As usual, we had "worked" right through lunch. We seem to be only getting 2 meals a day. For those who know me, you'll understand how different the cuisine is when I was hunkering for a Big Mac, fries and a Coke (McDonalds is usually at the very last of my choices). We hustled down the square to the McDonalds and got lunch/dinner to go. We stuffed the food down and we thankful that Sergiy was 15 minutes later than he said. We knew there would be no dinner on the train and breakfast would not be until later the next morning.

We had a relaxed time chatting in our train car until the week finally caught up with us. We turned in early, hoping to get a head start on a restless night's sleep. Sergiy has traveled by train all his life and it doesn't seem to bother him. John and I found we woke up no less than 10 times on the way down. The trip back up to Kiev proved to be no different.
Until next time,
God bless - Jenn

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Wed. Oct. 21st

I'm trying my best to keep things in small blogs (slightly unsuccessfully though! Yikes!) Spasiba (thank you) for your patience.

John reminded me of another moment while in the Director's office.....

Since there was no private moment for us, I was not sure what John was thinking about Vala from the moment we met her, but I had conflicting feelings over her rigid smile and pleading eyes. Although it melted my heart, I wasn't sure how to read what I was seeing. Was she nervous? or putting on an act of showing happiness? Was she told to behave a certain way to achieve being adopted? Something wasn't right and my lack of knowledge in her culture left me ignorant.

At one moment, I look down and saw her intricately painted nails - yellow with black flowers on the ends. Desperately looking for something to talk about, I reached down and picked up her fingers to comment on the beautiful paint job and ask if she did it herself. This poor girl's hands were sweaty and she was embarrassed for me to touch them and have her feelings revealed! She took me hook, line and sinker! She looked up at me with those dark brown eyes, tears in them. I smiled down at her, held her hand and squeezed it in understanding - she was not putting on an act - she was petrified we would not want her.

After spending 3 days with her, we can tell you, even through the language barrier, she is a sweet girl. She fully intends on becoming an American and is excited about having a family for the first time. She came to the orphanage when she was 5. She has been there 9 years, watching her friends be adopted or age-out and disappear from existence. Through various paperwork circumstances (and we believe God's grace to hold her for us to find each other), she was unadoptable until just two years ago. She loves to play, is a good athlete, and smart - she will fit in wonderfully with our children. Although problems will arise during the melding phase, I think her new brothers and sisters will be pleasantly surprised. And yes Sarah & Joella, she will definatly be the shortest - finally, huh?! She is a cute little package of smiles and personality.

Well, we can no longer stand the smoke filled atmosphere. I hope these posts today wet your appetites and help fill you in. We'll be signing off, but promise to be back. Lord willing, we'll be packing up again and heading back to Kiev on the overnight train. We'll try and get back on-line as soon as we can.

Much love to you all!
Thank you so much for the prayers.
Thank you also for the encouraging e-mails and comments - they help cheer us up.
Thank you Sally for the weather updates - it's fun and actually helps us plan what to wear - you know all about the fact that when we leave for the day, we have no idea when we'll be back home or how long it will be before we can eat again.

Until next time - Jenn

Wed. Oct. 21st

So we sat down, the Director behind her desk, the Inspector & Sergiy sitting in chairs to her right, and the three of us to her left in a row of chairs along one wall. Vala was closest to the Director's desk, with me next to her and John to my left.

The Director welcomed us in Russian and it was translated, but not word for word. The formal stuff was stated with the Inspector inputting questions to Vala also. We were asked, in that awkward meeting, if we accepted her as our adopted child and if she accepted us. We weren't expecting such a question immediately. Vala answered yes, she wants to be adopted by us. We came knowing that we intended on adopting her so even under those circumstances could answer yes without even looking at each other. John and I answered in verbal unison. The look on Vala's face showed she understood our answer and she was happy.

We pulled out photos we had planned on showing (thanks for the heads up Mark & Sally!). They poured over them, asking many questions and Sergiy translated our answers. During the photo time, Vala received a phone call on her friend's cell phone. She quickly smiled, said "sorry, excuse me" and ran out. This happened twice. We know now what was happening was the group of kids upstairs were all congregating around another cell phone and couldn't wait to hear about us!! She was obviously excited to tell all. : )

Every Ukrainian is dumbstruck when we tell them we have 5 children. Even then, the Inspector and Director really believed us when they saw the photos of our children with us. They can't understand why we would want to adopt 2 more children. We are told most Ukrainians only have 2-3 children. Life is too big of a struggle here and the housing is all very small, it's hard to care for more to them at a time. We are blessed to have the time, space and love in our hearts to expand our family.

As the attributes were told of Vala, it was mentioned that she loved to dance. This orphanage prides itself in teaching their children to dance. They are very talented! A special performance was put on for us. It was delightful! They dressed in costumes, greatly decorated, although revealing. (Shannon? PL conference?)

The entire society, as I'm sure it is throughout Europe, is very provocative. To a decree, it's embarrassing for us. It seems like there is very little to relieve your eyes, except the ground. Even in store windows, there are maniquens dressed in scanty outfits and underware. Women's modest clothing is still short skirts and low cut blouses and 3" heels (either in high heeled shoes or boots!). It's their way of doing things. We are thankful for this insight into their culture - it will help greatly in adapting our new daughters to things in our culture.

Wed. Oct. 21st

Hello to all our friends and family!
Like I said, because the internet connection is wishy-washy, I'm putting little Posts to the blog instead of one or two large ones. We hope you liked the photos of Don bass Area - it is a beautiful stadium.

So we know we are days behind in news and we're sorry for that. We've been dying to talk to you too.

Okay, we met at SDA last Thursday and received approval to see one girl - Valentina (Vala). On Friday afternoon they gave us the paperwork and we hopped on the overnight train with Sergiy and his family. Our apartment wasn't ready and we were homeless with 4 large suitcases and two carry on bags (awkward, huh?). We were left at the "pirate restaurant" where we ate and used the WIFI connection. The "orange, scary" apartment was ready in the late afternoon and we stayed there 2 days, then moved to our present apartment - a single studio room in the downtown area. It is very nice, cleaner, more secure and very close to everything.

One thing to mention, for those that don't know - most Ukrainians walk a considerable distance each day. Less than half of the households own a car, and that would only be one for the entire family, including adult children living with the family still. So the streets are packed with all types and ages of people walking to and from work, the market (which they buy daily from), school, etc. So all hours of the day and night, there are people out. Because of this, the population is incredibly fit. All ages except the old Babushka's who deserve to have a little extra around the middles! lol

So we waited in our new apartment Sunday night, for the next day to come. On Monday we are to go get approval to visit Vala at the orphanage and have contact. We did not sleep well, but better than we had since leaving home.

The government buildings are incredible. It's just so hard to explain, but image a post-Soviet building. Almost all buildings are made of poured concrete. The walls are uneven in width, but seem to be around 18" thick. When a new door or window is needed, they have to get through it somehow, haul out all that concrete and rebar, and patch it best they can. We understand that construction that was underway while Mark & Sally were here, looks the same a year later when we showed up Monday morning. The bags of concrete are still sitting in the hallway along with other construction material.

Another thing that is so obvious is how people live in the dark here, literally. We walked through several dark hallways to get to this official office - a governmental building. It's amazing how they are used to it. John and I waited in a dark room/hallway for our turn (about 45 minutes).

But the permission we obtained and we headed to the orphanage. With the inspector in tow, we walked in the orphanage, down a hallway, hook a corner, past several women, turned into an office and................. did I mention most Ukrainians walk very fast? Anyone who's walked with me knows I can walk quite fast, but keeping up with them, even a woman in 3" spiked heels, is a chore! We were following in single file line, trying not to get left behind, when suddenly we were in the Director's office and standing 3 feet away from Vala!!!

I was dumbstruck! I didn't know she would be in on the meeting - I was thinking she would be called in later. I stood there, with John behind me, I think staring just like me. Finally (and thankfully!) Sergiy said, "Well hug her!"

She was all smiles and you could see the tension in her face as she looked up at me. She had no idea what he had just said in English, but you could see the pleading in her eyes saying, "Please accept me as okay". I reached over and gave her a side hug, as my left hand was full of stuff we brought in for the meeting. She was stiff and did not hug back. She looked up at me with the same fixed smile on her face, no teeth showing.

It melted and broke my heart! As we found out later, she found out we were coming on Friday. She could barely contain herself all weekend. When the Director showed up to her office on Monday morning at 7:00am, Vala was waiting at her door. She had not slept, did not eat breakfast and had not left the office until we arrived at that very moment! She did not want to wait one single second longer than she had to to see us. And she knew the first place we would have to go was the Director's office.

Wed. Oct. 21st

Don bass Arena - where we watched the football game. They made it look like a giant diamond when it's lit up. (and as some say, a large UFO during the day). We were fortunate enough that Sergiy's in-law was able to get John & I tickets on such short notice. We were honored they invited us to join them for this time of relaxation. It was fun.
















Today is Wednesday. We have officially been in Ukraine for over a week. We are finally holding food in after several days of having upset systems. We also slept last night with only waking up once and are feeling more refreshed than we have in days. Thank you all for your prayers. We know this is the reason why we are doing better - we contibute it to God and the prayer of the saints!

Jenn

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

More news...

Did I say why John and I had to take the stairs the other night, down 9 flights of stairs? It was because the elevator wasn't working! Whenever we would hit the down button, it sounded like the elevator doors were shutting on something a couple floors away - like something was lying in the way of the of it shutting. It took us a while to find the stairs. We had to go out through the doors to the balcany (good thing the windows were broken out, we could just "walk through" them). We prayed the old concrete balcony would hold while we wondered around to try and find stairs. We finally budged another door open, into the building, and found the stairs.

We had an opportunity to go to a Ukrainian Football game & root for the home team - WAXTEP (pronounced shac-tar; translates from "Coal Miner" the local occupation here). They are one of the best professional teams in Ukraine. Their only rival, we hear, is Kiev. Football (known as soccer in the US) is very, very big here. It was exciting and fun to cheer for the home team, who were excellent. We were able to go to a brand new, state of the art stadium complex, the best in Ukraine. It was very nice. We bought a penant & scarf to hang next to our BSU stuff. The girls will be proud. :) We'll upload photos soon.

Internet Woes!

Greetings Friends and Family!
We miss you so much! We have had internet woes for DAYS now and it has been so hard! Especially on me (Jenn)! You don't always realize how much you rely on people in your life and those that you are used to talking with daily, until you can not reach them at all. You are all precious to us and we miss you.

That said, and tears wiped, I'm sure you are all DYING to know how it's been going (I've gotten e-mails from several of you - I know exactly what you mean!).

We came into Donetsk on Saturday and were brought to an apartment that was...hmm? How do I put this? We were on the 9th floor of a 14 floor building. It's been falling apart for years. They throw the garbage down a chute from the central hallway and most of the outside windows not in an apartment are busted out completely. We must enter 3 locked doors to get into our apartment and still do not feel safe. Most of the lightbulbs are burned out or knocked out. Even in the apartments only 3 of the 7 lightbulbs in the apartment work. None are working outside your apartment except right in front of our door. At 2pm in the afternoon we run into a guy coming out of one of the two elevators that you knew if you bumped him too roughly, liquer would spill out of his pours! I must say, even though everyone drinks, I have yet to see anyone out of control or mean, etc. I guess it's just our American experiences that make us wary of them.

Luckily, Sergiy could see our aprehension with the place. Also, the next day when he came to pick us up, we had to walk down all 9 flights (in the dark, except when near broken out windows) to the bottom. Joanna - talking about scary! You get to the bottom floor, never been there before, can't see anything, but know the door is in front of you, and you know there is another flight of stairs heading down like to the basement. Where's the door handle? Who else is in there? The smell is enough to make you loose your cookies - Freak out Factor? VERY, VERY HIGH! ... but..... Joshua 1:9! (thanks Pammy!)

The narrow tub w/ the shower handle, sprayed water everywhere and there is no shower curtain or sides, etc. (Sally & Mark, you know what I mean!) Because we were so close to the smelting factories, it smelled horrible and the pollution that high up was brutal. They burn a lot of coal for electricity too. Sergiy found us another place in "downtown" Donetsk. We have a single room apartment with all laminate flooring. It's much, much, much better!

I plan on posting my notes every little bit. This way if we loose connection, all my work isn't lost.

In a bit! Jenn

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Oct. 17th -in Donestk


Greetings to all of you!

Yesterday we showed up early for our SDA appointment and went window shopping at the local tourist vendors near the SDA building. Mark & Sally told us that would be the best place to buy souvineers when we come back through Kiev to head home.
If we bought them yesterday, like the vendors really wanted us to, we would have to pack them around for the next month! We are trying to make things as light as possible.
We successfully received our Referral from SDA to see Valentina - Thank you Lord! It's been a long time coming. There was an Italian couple there waiting for the same thing. She was in near tears at receiving their referral. John and I weren't quite that emotional. I suppose it's because we know Vala could accept or reject us. We'll feel the real emotion when she actually says she wants to be adopted by us. That will be the triumphant moment!
At 7pm we met Sergiy and his family at the train station. We weren't able to get the economy sleeper car, they were all taken through the entire weekend. John and I were able to get a 1st class car though with Sergiy and his family just a couple of doors down. His sweet daughter and son accompanied his wife Vicka and him. She knows very limited English so communication is hard. His little girl gets car sick and they give her medicine before the hour long car ride into the station. She was pretty groggy when we met last night, poor thing.

Here are some pics from our train's sleeper car last night...
























This is an old Soviet train car. It felt like we were riding in a bit of history. And I suppose we were. The first class is very nice. It has only two beds, instead of 4. The four beds would have given us more room to put our luggage on the upper bunks, but we were glad there was storage we could stuff our suitcases under the bunks. They had the nice velvety type backs to make setting up comfortable. Also, in first class, the train staff makes your bed up for you.
We got coffee (very strong) that evening and the next morning. We brought bread and some sausages from the market to have as a dinner snack. The coffee costs 4 greivna a piece (at the exchange rate now, that's only about 50 cents, not bad).
The heaters kick on when the train starts moving. It cooks you out! You have to stuff blankets and pillows over the vent to keep the heat from radiating in. The windows do not open.

Smoking is very prevelant here. It appears everyone smokes and they smoke everywhere. Including on the train! We eventually had to close our sleeper car door just to try and block out the smoke, as we're not used to it. But when you shut the door, you shut in the heat. Have to pick the lesser of the two evils, I guess. :0)
We arrived in Donestk at 7:20am this morning, right on time. Train travel is very popular as well as using the Metro. Our apartment, we found out, will not be ready until 12noon. Sergiy's in-laws (where he's staying) do not have room for us. So he dropped us off at the Pirate Ship restaurant. (Since I can't read Ukrainian, that's what I'll call it for now) Mark & Sally have eaten here several times and used the internet. Thanks for the recommendation. Although the internet is constantly going off line. We were able to IM Sarah for 1 1/2 hours - she should have been in bed sleeping, though! lol
John took a picture of me checking our e-mails. We are trying our best to stay in contact with those watching our daughters and managing our business while we're gone. Unfortunately, there are no apartments available with internet right now. So we'll have to come to places like this in our free time. It's really important people e-mail us if they need to get in contact with us - not to wait until we contact them. That way, we can respond as soon as we can get on the internet - thanks to all of you who are filling in for us! We can't tell you how much we appreciate it!

This is a cool ship like restaurant that's open 24hrs a day. It's got some really neat decor, although it, like everywhere else, is pretty smokey. It's not well lit, the pirate theme, you know mateys!
Much love to you all! We look forward to seeing you all soon.
John & Jenn

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Meeting at SDA

We had our appointment at SDA this afternoon. We were hoping to receive permission to see both girls at once, but we are going to be allowed to see just one. Tomorrow around 3pm we'll meet again at SDA and they are suppose to be giving us approval letter to see Vala. We'll leave on the overnight train Friday night. We will meet with the Inspector on Monday and see what goes from there.

Although this messes up us seeing them on Friday, it will allow us the weekend to get on the overnight train to Donetsk and get settled in to the apartment and do some shopping for food. We've been too busy to get much to eat and drink. We'll want to make sure and stock up on stuff like water. We've not purchased enough lately. With the language barrier, it's been pretty difficult. There are very, very few who speak English in the serving trades like stores and restaurants. We've already been ripped off at one restaurant. We confirmed that with Sergiy. But we are a little wiser now and are getting the hang of it. Food is very inexpensive here. Lunch for two is 1/3 to 1/2 of what it costs in the States. That's very helpful.

It's about 11:30pm and we're finally getting tired. I've adapted well to the time change - John's getting there. Thank you all for your covering of prayers - we appreciate it very much!

Love to you all,
Jenn

Oct. 15

We slept well last night with the exception of John getting up for a bit in the middle of the night. He was able to Skype and talk with Joanna and Ryan. Joanna was thrilled. When I heard her voice it woke me up instantly. So I was up for a bit, then went to back to bed while John Skyped Ryan. It was good to talk to both of them.

We slept in until 7:45am and were so grateful. It was nice to finally sleep. I've included a photo of the bathroom. It is the most beautiful room in the house, with small blue tiles on the floor and walls, including in the shower. There are also fancy deco tiles in there as well.

We ordered pancakes (flat ones like Blinz) with Russian cheese and tomatoes. They were very tasty! We ordered the ones with ham in them too, but did not get the ham. We also ordered two cappuccinos, but didn't get them either. We'll have to talk with Sergiy and see what our receipt says we actually ordered. We also gave 100 grievna and the bill was 80-50 (80.50). They asked for a 50 coin, which we didn't have any yet. So John gave her a 20 grievna. The change we got was 20 grievna & 50 coin. We think we were shorted 19-50. Again, we'll have to clarify the currency with Sergiy or we'll be broke really in no time. :)

We are currently at McDonalds. We came here first for breakfast, but at 10:00 when we walked in, they changed their menu to the lunch one and we were really wanting breakfast. We've come back to get some coffee, which is pretty good. And use the WIFI.

John's computer won't go on-line here either. Please pray I can hook up with our computer guys back home to try and fix it from here. They can get into the computer and fix anything remotely, but only if it's on-line. Right now, if I can't figure what's wrong, we're dead in the water. At least we've still got mine.

Much love to you all. We are going to get ready to meet Sergiy in about 30 minutes. We are preparing our family photos for SDA. Jenn & John

P.S. The spelling's bad...sorry to those who can spell! The spell-check isn't working well either. lol!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Today is the day Oct. 15th


We are constantly having problems staying on-line here in our apartment. We have high speed, but it's through a cable and one end of it is broken. We are constantly being thrown off-line.


I've included a couple of shots from our balcany. The street view is right below our balcany - notice how all the cars park kitty-wampus? The car that's actually driving must manuver around the parked vehicles. The walkers (and there are lots of them) must manuever around everything else.


The other pic is the building directly out from our balcany. Mark & Sally, from this view, the apartment you sayed in was directly to the left. If you were to turn right and head over one block, you would be near the potato house. :) Praise God, they have Pepsi.




Coffee is actually a heavy capacino or latte here. Mark and Sally pre-warned us that they do not drink regular coffee here. In fact, when we get away from the capitol Kiev, we will be hard pressed to find any kind of coffe but instant (in some places).


Last night we purchased minutes on a Ukrainian cell phone Sergiy has loaned to us. It has pics of his 3 year old daughter, making a snowman on it. She's simply adorable. He also have a beautiful wife and a 6 month old son. We are hoping to meet them today, but we don't know what the day will hold. We've got some gifts for each of them, and the super sized jar of Peanut butter Mark & Sally sent over. It's hard to find here.


Well John's mastered the shower and just got out. I'm going to convince him to teach me how to run it. We'll probably go to McDonalds for breakfast. This one serves breakfast (and hopefully normal coffee). Sergiy will be calling us early (somewhere around 9 or 10am, lol!). They are late nighters here!


Good bye for now - we'll see if we can update more later.

Much love to you all.

Thank you so ever much for your prayers!

John & Jenn

Safely In Kiev! Oct. 14








Greetings to you all from Ukraine!




I've included a picture of John and I, sitting in a McDonalds, overlooking the runway in the Frankfurt, Germany airport. Do we look as tired as we felt? We were very glad to be out of a plane. This airport is very, very large. You're right Della, we wouldn't want to leave this one and try to get back in!

John and I made it safely to Kiev, Ukraine today - right on schedule. We had a difficulty or two, but God is good and we passed through without missing a single flight. We were thankful Sergiy had made arrangements for us when we arrived. We were able to get through the airport with no trouble, with all our luggage. It was so good to meet him in person for the first time.

Kiev is an old city (approximately 1,500 years old) with lots of trees, shrubs and grass. There is interesting archetecture, statues and history throughout the city. Many buildings are crumbling and falling apart, but the people are used to it and are very proud of their city. Sergiy says there are about 5 million people.

The driving is CRAZY! In Kiev, the drivers make up the rules. There could be 4 cars across in the space of a two lane road - and that's only for going one direction! There are cars in the other lanes going the opposite direction! And they park anywhere, including the sidewalks and double parking. We are so glad the driving is up to someone else! We are happy to leave this part to others.

I've attached some pics of our apartment here in Kiev - it's a one bedroom with a living room, kitchen and a small blue tiled bathroom. Altogether, it's about 500 sq ft. This is very common living accomodations. My family would have a hard time fitting in here! lol

Thank you for all who have prayed fervantly for us - God has answered your prayers. This trip had so many chances for disaster, but He protected us and kept the process moving along.

John and I have also been blessed by our congregation. They had a apecial love offering ($700) collected on Sunday before we left - we can't tell you how much this helps! We have struggled to collect the funds needed and this love offering is a great encouragement to us that God will contnine to supply all we need. Again, thank you.

We have been up for more hours than we can count. It's Wednesday night here and we are trying hard to stay up until "bedtime" to combat jet lag. We managed to catch some sleep on the various flights, but not much. Please pray for endurance and quickness to adapt to the time change. Our appointment Sergiy says, is at 12noon tomorrow. We are praying we will be granted approval to start seeing both girls immediately, not one at a time. It looks like we won't be able to see the girl(s) until next Monday. Sergiy is doubtful we can get everything done and on the evening train tomorrow night so we could see them on Friday. Still, we'll pray this happens. Tomorrow will be a very busy day.

To our kids - we love you and miss you terribly! You are just as brave and courageous as we are. We are proud of you. Be a witness of Him who send us. Hugs and kisses to you.

All our love,
John & Jenn

Friday, October 9, 2009

Added a blog link for a fellow adopter

Good morning all!
I've added a link to the right ------> that I am really enjoying.
It's called Step of Faith: Ukraine Adoption

This couple has recently adopted two girls from Ukraine and have them home. Their posts are faith inspiring and oh-so real to what we have, are and will be going through. Amen sister! Enjoy! Jenn

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Oct. 6th


We're feeling the crunch of all the last minute details preparing to leave. John is trying hard to finalize booking work for when we are gone - it's important to keep our business alive and our guys working too. : ) I'm packing and trying to guess what to take for the girls and what to leave behind.

We are (okay I am) getting pretty teary-eyed thinking of leaving our kids for this long. It's proving to be just as difficult as I guessed. I figured I'd wait until this weekend - I'm getting a head start being emotional.

I wonder too how Ola and Vala are feeling right now? I'm not even sure if they know we are coming. The powers in Ukraine might wait to make sure until we actually touch down in the country before they get the girls hopeful and excited.

It's all in God's hands and I'm so glad it is.
Jenn


Saturday, October 3, 2009

Oct. 3rd

Thought I'd put another post before we get too busy....

Our plane tickets are purchased and we have been busy starting to collect and pack what we'll bring. We bought matching backpacks for the girls on the return trip. Teenage girls do not relish matching their sister's but the ease of spotting them in a crowded airport is priceless and goes beyond fashion sense. We needed a pack durable to withstand the trip, lightweight enough to constantly carry for four or more days, and plentiful pockets for organizing books, toothbrushes, snacks and the like, and to be affordable. Thank goodness for back-to-school sales!

One does not realize how hard it is to predict the unpredictable...... how much stuff will they have to bring back?? Will they only have a favorite sweater? Or have they been given 5 large stuffed animals they just can not live without? How can you even prepare to bring two teenaged girls and their things home when you have never met and are from different cultures? How can we convince them to leave most of "their" clothing behind, as we have some here for them? (the clothes are shared in the orphanage and we would much rather leave what's there for the other children). So we bring backpacks and a duffel bag for the girls and hope for the best.

I can not help but wonder at their feelings presently..... are they excited? worried? anxious? hopeful or wishing it just wouldn't happen? The possibility they have been forgotten or rejected is very real - either by distant family, Ukrainians or foreigners. During this summer we were told the girls thought we would not come for them, that we had changed our mind. I could not fathom this! All this effort to just give up at the hard spot? I was told that it happens commonly. How discouraging and utterly depressing for them! It's like being picked last for the team, but then never to be picked at all! Left standing on the sideline while every one else plays the game of life and leaves them there! It breaks our hearts!

When we finally get to see them, the urge to scoop them up with hugs and kisses will be so strong. We have already talked several times that this gesture of love will most likely be overwhelming. We've been told they will likely be reserved and stand-offish. Understandably so! It's like looking at the biggest gift of your life and not wanting anything to stop the giver from giving it to you. We intend to give the gift, no matter what. God has called us to go and adopt strangers into our family. When you think about it, we know more about these children than we knew of the children born from our own bodies! We did not know their hair color, eye color, likes and dislikes. This is no different. One never knows what they'll get - what an adventure!

Until next time, love your family like it is the last day.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
"...live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil for evil or insult with insult, but with blessing... Be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."